


the Last Lap

by 10BlackRoses



Category: daniel bruhl - Fandom, james hunt - fandom, kimi raikkonen - Fandom, niki lauda - fandom
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Death, Drama, F/M, Humour, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Content, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-15 17:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1313524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10BlackRoses/pseuds/10BlackRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU  After Niki’s illegitimate son shows up at the track to confront his estranged father, both there lives change forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of back-story for those who are interested – Niki Lauda cheated on wife Marlene and has a son whom he has seen very rarely in the past thirty years. THIS IS FACT all other names mentioned here in relation to one another are purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only ☺ any other factual information added is there to aid the story line.

Niki arrives on track for Lewis and Nicos first season practice. Mercedes have excelled in winter testing, and Niki is quietly confident one of there boys will be world champion. The spectators roars can be heard from the stands as, Hamilton, himself and Rosberg make there way to the pits. The boys shoot on track after Alonso and Kimi in the blood red Ferraris. Niki smiles to himself, he lives for this there’s nowhere he feels more ta home, more at ease.

 

Lewis has a minor hitch 5 minutes in but Rosberg sets amassing lap times , Niki is delighted. he makes his way to the press tent where drivers old and new are gathering with : engineers, team managers, friends , family wife’s , girlfriends and whomever else bought there way into the exclusive gathering. Watson and prost intercept him first. Feeling generous he decides to humor them. They are soon joined by Fittipaldi, Stewart and Andretti.

 

 As always old tales emerge and Niki becomes the bud of the jokes. Amidst all the laughter and nostalgia Niki notices john Watson has become slightly uneasy and very quite. He follows Watsons gaze and his breath hitches. He is met with an intense pair of brown eyes boring into him, the young man staring back at him has his face, well his face long before the burns. The resemblance is uncanny. Blinking in disbelief there eyes meet again but the striking resemblance remains. Niki turns to john who is now looking at him warily. They couldn’t both be thinking the same could they?

 

John was present the last time Niki had seen…..but it couldn’t be him, could it? And after 30 odd years there is no way either of them would recognize that child. Would they?

 

 

Jackie notices the two have disengaged themselves from the conversation and just as he is about to interrupt there train of thought, he is stumped as he to catches sight of the figure across the room, eyes trained on them all. Watching Niki like a predator stalking prey. Jackie then also entertains a very eerie thought. The figure approaches followed by two other youthful men. All well dressed in fine tailored suits.

 

The chatter amongst the drivers dies down as the youths approach.

 

“Niki Lauda, congratulations or your successes” Niki eyes the boy wearily his tone of voice is laced heavily with sarcasm and malice. Niki doesn’t reply. The boy lowers his head momentarily and huffs when he regains his stance he is glaring at Niki smirking maliciously at him.

 

“You don’t know who I am do you? . I’m hurt. But them why would you remember,”

 

John Watson is first to address the boy “is this a joke? Who are you? What team are you with?”

 

The youth ignores him and remains focused on Niki. Another voice interrupts, this time one of the other young men. Tall piercing green/ blue eyes and black wavy hair.

 

“Don’t do this, not here. Come on man” he tries to coax the boy away but his attempts fall on deaf ears. Niki goes to leave but freezes as he here’s the next three words leave the boys mouth.

 

“’I’m your son” Niki closes his eyes tightly willing this moment to all be just a bad dream when he opens his eyes and turns and there eyes meet again he sees a flash of something else, hurt? Sadness? It’s gone as quickly as it appeared. The boy swallows hard straightens up  and bows curtly.

 

“Gentlemen my apologies. Enjoy your evening.” They all stare on in disbelief as the figure walks away leaving his two friends just as stunned and confused as they are. The lad who spoke earlier turns to Niki.

 

“I’m really sorry about this. We tried to talk him out of it. He thought you might have recognized him “ the lad hesitates not knowing what else to say “he’s ..Not in a good place right now. He’s not thinking straight.” Without another word they follow after their friend.

 

Andretti Fittipaldi and prost all look at Niki expectantly . Jackie and john seem just as stricken as Niki does.

 

“What the hell was that?” Andretti pipes up

 

“Stay out of this Mario, trust me just leave it alone” john cuts in as Niki makes a sharp exit. Followed by a very concerned Jackie.

 

Niki’s breathing is rapid he feels like he’s fighting for air his chest constricts violently, sharp pains shoot up both his arms . He fights his way past concerned Mercedes management and even Lewis and nico. Their concerned cries , and questions a muffled dull thud in nikis ears. Jackie is perusing him as best he can as Niki fights his way towards the Mercedes meeting room. Its empty and he collapses into a chair holding his chest. Jackie is on him in seconds.

 

“jesus Niki. Breath come on, copy me ok, in and out…. good . Hey , hey calm down” Jackie’s voice is soothing nikis breathing slows but the pains remain , his heart and mind are racing.

 

He cant speak his eyes gaze blankly into the abyss somewhere behind Jackie.

In his mind all he can see is a timid baby boy clinging to him, gazing up into his eyes in wonderment fascinated, captivated. Tiny hands on his face, caressing his burns. Then the heartbreaking cries as the child was wrenched from his arms. The warmth of James hunts embrace, Ronnie Petersons hand on his shoulder. He never saw that child again. Never heard a word. His darkest secret, one he’d buried, the most painful moment of his life. He’d given away a son.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death makes you question what is really important and forces us to make those difficult decisions. Niki's bastard son must face not only his imminent death but the man whom had haunted him his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Daniel Bruhl is Nikis illegitimate son ;) Ben is of course the one and only Mr Benedict Cumberbatch and Michael is Michael Fassbender :)

Daniel collapses after the confrontation with Niki at the track. Everything suddenly went black and his knees gave way as the hard ground beneath him rose to meet his failing body. There are sirens and his friends are shaking him screaming at him, he’s so tired he just wants to sleep and never wake. 

He does wake, the blinding white of the hospital room flashes across his eyes like a searing bolt of lightning causing sharp flashes of pain across his brow. His head is aching; the I.V is back in his already bruised arm. The heart motor and oxygen machines are whirring and whizzing beside him. 

“Hey” there is a sudden warmth on his shoulder, its Ben. They just came off set on the fifth estate and now they are inseparable. Ben was the first person he told. When he found out that he was terminal. 

“Hi” he manages back his voice hoarse and weak. Benedict stares at him with a gaze that makes Daniels stomach churn. 

No stress, the doctors had said, no work, “but I’m an actor!” he had shot back. He intended to keep going until the very last second. But then tragedy had truck a deeper tragedy than facing a slow painful drawn out race to the finish line, was watching someone else dear to you beat you to it. 6 weeks since it happened. His mother, stepfather and half brother all died in a crash just as Daniel was making his way to tell them of his prognosis. Pancreatic cancer, a death sentence, no cure, no hope. In a way he’s glad they never knew. There death was swift his wouldn’t be, and he couldn’t bear to burden them with it. And now he never would. 

The diagnosis had stirred a demon within him one that consumed him in his darkest hours no matter how hard he tried to vanquish the beast it rose again. His identity, was false. All he’d known of his parentage was a lie. Deep down he’d known but the beast hung over not only him but his mother and she couldn’t bare his questioning gaze. And as Daniel suffered mourning his only family he entertained the notion of finding the answers to boyhood questions, answers only one man could provide. His real father. To many a hero, a legend, to Daniel the man who had given him away. 

Bens soft voice snapped him back to reality

“dan? You need to stop this, your making things a lot worse. Please buddy just relax you cant go on like this”

Daniel nods slowly. he’s accepted that his way of dealing with his illness is damaging. He can no longer go on like nothing has happened. Like his body hasn’t deteriorated day after day. Like the pain is bearable, when its not. He’s dying, he doesn’t have much time left and he needs to make a decision now about how he wants to spend his last few months on this earth. 

“ben can you do something for me?” Benedict softly caresses his shoulder.

“What?” he whispers softly.

“I want answers. I need to know who I am. If I was wanted. Why didn’t he ever visit or write or call? I was never meant to be here ben , I was an accident. I just need to know if he ever felt anything. Anything at all , for me” 

Benedict cant meet Daniels eyes. He wishes he had never agreed to help Daniel find Niki and get into the Grand Prix. It was all a huge mistake. But how could he refuse the last wishes of his dying friend? Still he feels he must plead with Daniel one last time

“dan you know who you are. You had an amassing life and a wonderful family, who loved you. Isn’t that enough? Your mother never wanted you to know Niki, ask yourself why? What good can possibly come of this? You’ll just get hurt. Times short Daniel, use your time to live as you want stop perusing answers to questions that will provide you with nothing more than the missing pieces of a puzzle you don’t need to solve.” 

There is a shaky hand on Bens arm and he melts at the touch.

“Please, ben. Just a letter, ill talk you write and can you send it for me? Will you do this one last thing, please?” 

Benedict finds himself nodding unconsciously. Michael enters the room as a tense silence falls around them. He doesn’t speak and instead sits at dans bedside and caresses his arm gently.


	3. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki is finally faced with the past, as he endures a heated confrontation with Daniel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for any incorrect german or spanish used.

Nikis breathing had evened out, but the pains in his arms remained. A short trip to a doctor confirmed a mild stroke and he was banished to his Austrian home for strict bed rest. A week after the incident and countless sleepless nights later Watson came on the phone inviting Niki to Germany for a meal with himself and Jackie. Normally Niki would question such an invite but he took it in good faith and understood the concern of his friends. He agreed reluctantly and arrived in berlin the next evening, where he was promptly escorted off to this mystery restaurant by Jackie. John was waiting for them there.

The pace was hardly the Ritz. Small, warm and filled with couples. It was Spanish themed, Niki was bemused he looked at Watson expectantly.

“You’ll get why we are here eventually, I just hope you don’t murder me. Lets take a seat. Shall we?”

John requested there table and the three where escorted to the far end of the restaurant with a good view of the open plan kitchens, the bar and the front entrance. Niki suddenly felt uneasy, he stood abruptly and gestured to the door.

“John explain now or I am leaving”

John looked at Jackie who nodded. 

“Alright, ok sit down will you. Don’t draw attention to us!”

Niki sat slowly and leaned forward, Jackie did the same and john slid an envelope across the table in niki’s direction.

“Read it.” Niki gazed down at the small pristine white envelope examining the soft calligraphy like handwriting. ‘Niki’ it read simply. He took it and opened it gently unfolding the paper within and began to read.

Niki  
I remember that crisp winters day in the aircraft hanger, I can still smell the oil and fumes from you red jumper as you held me. If I close my eyes long enough I still see the huge jet and the smaller planes. I remember the blood red car parked towards the back, the proud number one on the front, and the matching helmet on the shelves. the trophies at the side. I hear a soft voice in my dreams, a strange accent and I language I didn’t understand, but I remember liking it and wanting to hear it forever. Do you remember?  
I ask nothing of you. Only, that you will grant me one wish. Give me answers? I have so many questions.   
You can find me if your heart looks hard enough.   
Daniel 

John and Jackie observe Niki cautiously as he reads. His pale icy blue eyes begin to shimmer, he blinks rapidly and sets the note down bringing a shaky hand to cover his face.   
The door opens in the distance. A tall handsome figure in a long black coat enters, soft well kept hair swept to one side and gentle brown eyes set on a child like face. Jackie nudges john who draws his attention away from Niki. 

“Niki,” Niki looks at him after a long moment and john cant read his eyes, “Niki, we brought you here tonight because, we witnessed something many years ago that we should never have allowed and we feel now we can right a wrong. This place belongs to your son. That letter made it’s way to your office at mclaren , From this address. He wanted you to find him. I am sorry that I took the letter, but you would never have come here alone. And you may never get this chance again.” 

John looked slowly towards the bar and Niki followed his gaze. Daniel was surrounded by smiling admirers he shook hands and signed paper that was presented to him, he looked happy but his eyes where tired and he was pale. Niki couldn’t draw his eyes away. 

The crowd slowly dissipated Daniel turned his attention to the bar, the tender made him up a beer and he removed his jacket and turned up his shirtsleeves. He wiped his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. It was then Niki noticed his arm, it was littered with bruises, angry welts and puncture wounds. 

Daniel looked up and as he scanned the restaurant he caught niki’s gaze. To nikis disbelief Daniel approached their table. Jackie and john sat bolt up right and leaned back in anticipation. 

“guten Abend, darf ich mich Ihnen anschließen?” (good evening , may I join you?) 

To john and Jackie’s surprise Niki smiled the warmest smile they had seen him give since James Hunt was alive. Daniel sat beside Niki. He gestured to the bar tender.

“mismo otra vez para mí, y lo que estos señores están teniendo.” (same again for me , and whatever these gentlemen are having) 

Daniel turned to them “gentlemen what can I get you to drink?” 

“Some good German beer, this is berlin after all!” Jackie piped up cheerfully and without hesitation. Daniel nodded and the bar tender shot off to fetch their drinks.

Niki watched as Daniels gaze fell on the letter, which now lay forgotten on the table.

“I didn’t think you’d come. I do apologies for the last time. I don’t know what I was thinking. I am sorry” 

Niki wanted so badly to hold his son, rest a reassuring hand on his shoulder, caress his hair. But he couldn’t, instead he shook his head and smiled again.

“im happy you did it. We’re here now because you did” 

Daniel looked at him for the first time since he sat down, a small grin tugged the side of his lips. The moment was interrupted by john Watson, releasing a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

“Well, shall we Jackie . I think maybe Niki and Daniel should be alone for awhile”

“What? Why?” john rolled his eyes and nudged Jackie violently giving him ‘the eyes’. Finally Jackie seemed to catch on.

“ow! Right, yes . Well, uh….so we’re off! Nice tae meet ya Daniel and uhm, don’t kill him cause he’s pretty valuable.” John brought a hand to his head, he knew he should never have let Jackie drink on the plane. The two made a sharp exit. Daniel watched them leave smiling to himself, before turning his attention back to Niki . who he noted , now looked rather sheepish and somewhat frightened. Daniel suddenly realized he hadn’t prepared for this and had no idea what to do, or say. Then Niki spoke.

“Daniel. You asked me for answers. I am not sure any of them make up for what I did. I want you to know, that I only did it because your mother asked me to. And I thought of you always. I wrote to you… ” 

Daniels expression was pained. Niki hesitated to continue. He feared nothing he could say would be enough.

“I never got any letters…ever. Not one” Niki looked away.

“Your mother hated me you know. I am not surprised you didn’t get to read them.”

“Don’t blame her!” Daniel couldn’t help his outburst. Luckily the bar man had shut off there section of the restaurant after john and Jackie’s departure, and no one could see or hear what was being said.

“Why don’t you ask her? Why not ask her what happened? She took you away… I never knew where you where , how could I reach you?” 

“ I can’t ask her can i?! She’s dead! And so is he and my half brother…and your all I have left! …I don’t even know you! You have no idea! Moving around all my life never staying in one place, the arguments, never being allowed to call him dad, and never knowing why. Always having you in my head and never being able to remember who you where! She’d never speak about you, she’d shout at me when I asked. I always dreamed you’d come and take me away. You never came, you didn’t even try. You know, I have been in every German news paper on every tv show or film worth watching, I even made it to Hollywood and still you never seen me. You never noticed. I spent my teenage years growing up not far from nurburgring , I walked that track almost every day after school because you crashed there and it was all I could do to feel close to you. I saw you on tv almost every weekend. Images in the sports section, of you and your wife and your sons. I know what I am. I’m a huge mistake, I just want to hear you say it. I want you to tell me why you did it. Why did you cheat on your wife?, why didn’t you get me aborted? And who are you? I don’t know who I am until I know who you are” 

Niki listened carefully as Daniel spoke. He didn’t interrupt or make any attempts to correct him. He just listened. He chose his next words as carefully as he could.

“ no child of mine will ever be aborted. You are my son and I love you. I have always and will always love you. I signed your birth certificate. I wanted you. You where never unwanted Daniel. And I am not proud of what I did to my wife. But I will never ever regret you.”

“How can you say or mean any of that? You where never there, ever. You only ever saw me once” a single tear fell down Daniels pale face. Niki’s heart was slowly breaking. 

“Daniel, once was enough to hold you in my heart forever. You may never believe me, but watching you be torn from my arms and have her carry you away was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I felt I had no choice. There was nothing I could give you; I have two sons who I have failed. Who never saw me, I missed their entire lives, despite being married to their mother. You, where better off far away from me. If you hadn’t hated me for this you’d have hated me for another reason just like mathias and lukas.” 

“You let them change my name. On everything, I had to sign ‘Bruhl’ !”

“I let her give you ….his name because she wanted you to have a normal life without being associated to me. You have no idea what its like being a Lauda. she didn’t want that for you. I did not allow her to ‘change’ your name. It says Lauda on your birth certificate, on your passport! You are and always will be a Lauda!”

Daniel opened his mouth to speak. Pain shot across his side and he brought his arm to his stomach he screwed his eyes closed and cried out. Suddenly Niki was holding him, as he doubled over unable to bear the crippling muscle spasms and tearing sensations racking his body. Without any conscious thought he reached for Niki, helplessly. Holding onto him for support, then everything went black.


	4. Papa?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki must come to terms with Daniel's deadly illness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a tad heavy going so far, but i promise a whole bunch of F1 drivers are going to pop in and out of this fic :)

The doctors rushed Daniel away leaving Niki alone, hurt and confused. Eventually a nurse approached him and escorted him to a more private waiting area as press started arriving at the hospital. Niki was blinded by the camera flashes, as he passed by through the corridors until they where safely out of sight.

 

Sometime later a doctor approached him.

 

“Mr Lauda?” Niki looked up, he wasn’t surprised that the doctor knew him. Mostly everyone in Germany knew him. The doctor hesitated.

 

“May I ask your relation to young Mr Bruhl?” it dawned on Niki that he wasn’t the only one well known in Germany. His son was an actor, the degree of his fame was lost upon Niki, he didn’t follow those circles. But he knew he must trod carefully. Still he couldn’t help the words that left his mouth.

 

“I think you’ll find his name is actually Daniel Lauda . And he is my son” blunt and to the point as always Niki felt no more explanation was needed. As to his relationship with Daniel. what he wanted to know was what had happened.

 

“Where is he? What happened?”

 

“I am afraid I can’t share that information with you until I can confirm your relationship to the patient. I am sure you are aware the press is on the premises. I have a duty to uphold the anonymity of the patient unfortunately they already know you are here”

 

Niki felt his usual abrupt tactics wouldn’t be fitting in this situation. Instead he decided to co operate.

 

“so, confirm what you have to. Ill do whatever you ask.” The doctor nodded and gestured for niki to take a seat.

 

“just a few quick questions and ill need to look at some files. We should have Daniels birth certificate on record” Niki nodded.

 

After the short interrogation He spent what seemed like an eternity starring at the clock, before he was approached again. this time by a different doctor, a young female who sat next to him and looked at him sympathetically.

 

“This isn’t my place. And I shouldn’t be talking to you, but I have been treating Daniel since he was diagnosed …”

 

Niki starred at her confused sucking his top lip over his teeth, a habit James had always told him was endearing.

 

“I don’t follow…” she smiled sadly at him.

 

“You’re his father yes?” Niki nodded “he kept asking us not to inform his parents. There is no easy way of telling you this.” She gazed away from him for a long moment as if gathering her thoughts before she continued “your sons dying. He has Pancreatic cancer. It’s very aggressive. There is no more we can do for him. He is terminal”

 

Niki couldn’t process what he was being told a swarm of memories flooded his mind. Every thing started to make sense. Daniels sudden appearance at the track, knowledge of his mother stepfather and step brothers deaths, the letter to Niki, the answers he wanted. It was all because of this, because he was running out of time. Niki felt his breath leave him again. Before he could lapse into another break down he felt the nurses hand on his arm, her voice breaking through the swirl of thoughts that where consuming him.

 

“He needs you. No matter what he says to you. How hard he pushes you away. You have to be there for him.”

 

What a naïve young women. Niki thought to himself. Then again she had no knowledge of Daniels parents being dead . she was just a nurse . Someone who had been informned of nikis presence, and relationship to Daniel and had jumped to conclusions. Daniel obviously never intended for Niki to know. Only one question stirred in nikis mind

 

“How long does he have?”

 

“Months…maybe eight at best. We cant say..”

 

It felt like being trapped in the car at nurburgring all over again. The flames rising all around him and no one was able to pull him free.

 

“I have to see him”

 

* * *

 

When Daniel woke his head was spinning and his vision was clouded. There was a tube down his nose and throat to his stomach he had an iv and a feeding tube inserted directly in his side . He had been finding it increasingly difficult not to vomit after every meal. He knew the tubes where coming it was the only solution to his rapid weight loss. He was uncomfortable and sore. 

 

As he came round he could here voices, or one voice…. he couldn’t tell. He concentrated, a thick accent filled his ears and he was momentarily transported back to a huge metal open plan building with aircrafts and cars.

 

The smell of oil and fumes hanging heavily in the air, his hands against a scratchy red jumper. A set of shimmering blue eyes and tuffty uneven finger waved brown hair. A soft voice cooing and whispering to him. A hand in his hair…

 

Daniel woke from the daydream to the soft caress of fingers against his scalp teasing his silky brown hair away from his face. He closed his eyes contently at the touch.

 

“Daniel?” the voice spoke to him seeming so far away, somewhere in the distance.

 

“Daniel? Wake up” he opened his eyes slowly and there was those blue orbs staring at him. The ones from his dream. As his vision cleared he saw the familiar scars, the red cap and the aged face, which still bore that last resemblance of a famous racing driver and a man he met once long ago.

 

“papa?...” Daniel slipped up in his morphine endued state. He didn’t hear nikis breathe catch or recognized the small glimpse of pride and then sorrow flash across nikis eyes.

 

“’I’m here. Your ok. I’ll be right here.”

 

Daniels eyes drifted closed again. Ten or so minutes later john and Jackie arrived at the hospital. They sat with Niki at Daniels bedside, spoke with him and watched as there lifelong friend, rival and colleague nursed his dying son. 


	5. the Angel - Ronnie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki says goodbye to his baby son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a flash back in time, to when Niki spent one day with Daniel before letting him go.

_1980 October Austria_

 

Niki is pacing in front of his planes, agitated. He can hear the shuffling of Jackie’s trouser, the sighs from James hunt and can practically feel the concerned gaze of Ronnie Peterson. John Watson approaches him cautiously.

 

“Come on Niki, come stand with us. Pacing wont make them arrive any quicker”

 

“She’s late. Shes, taken him , without my permission. I knew this, I knew it would happen this way.” English went slightly out the window for Niki when he was upset. He kept pacing rapidly, making obscene hand gestures as he did. James hunt thought rather amusingly that Niki was spending too much time with the Italians. Clay regazzoni had, Had a bad influence on him.

 

Suddenly Niki stopped dead in his tracks, like a guard dog that had just sensed an intruder. moments later the screeching of tires could be heard on the gravel outside the aircraft hanger. Suddenly James was at his side as he tensed, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. This was it; he was finally going to see the child, after two years. James silently aware of the gravity of the moment placed a re assuring hand on nikis shoulder. His polite velvet accent breaking Niki from his trance.

 

“Relax Niki. It’s going to be all right. I’m here with you”

 

A tall slim brunette with long flowing hair and caramel skin got out of the car. followed by a medium height sturdy male. She opened the back door of the car and niki’s heart jumped as tiny hands reached out and she gathered a small bundle into her arms.

 

 Niki could make out long tufty brown hair cut in a perfect shape round a tiny head. He could see baby blue denim dungarees over a soft power blue top. Tiny feet tucked into wooly socks. Niki’s hand flew to James arm and he gripped him tightly for support James squeezed his shoulder tighter.

 

The women approached. James gave niki’s shoulder one last reassuring squeeze and moved to the side. As she got closer Niki could make out the child’s features. Big wide hazel brown eyes , chocolate silky hair a sun kissed complexion . Warmth rose in niki’s chest.

 

 Despite the babies obvious dark features, his face, his eye shape, his sharp thin jaw the intensity of his gaze even the way he sucked his tiny top lip under his bottom lip was all distinctly Niki. The child looked at him with a questioning gaze. The mother soothed him in Spanish running a hand through his soft hair, he didn’t cling to her and even moved his head out of her reach. She turned to Niki .

 

The women from his one night stand. 2 years previous , after an argument with Marlene Niki had stormed off to some dingy hotel room with a girl he picked up at a bar. Two years in and out of courts and a DNA test later, and here she stood again with there son in her arms.

 

Niki knew he was defying Marlene by meeting this women. By agreeing to see his ‘bastard’ child. She accused him of betraying their own sons. Lukas and mathias, who was born mere months before this other child. They had shared harsh words but Niki knew she wouldn’t leave him. so he had gone against her will and arranged this meeting. With the support of his three closest friends as his family still refused to acknowledge his existence, Niki stood ready to face his mistakes.

 

“I have the papers”

 

“I am signing nothing until I spend time with my son” niki’s voice was stern but un threatening and the women held tighter to the child.

 

“You agreed!” she snapped at Niki.

 

“I agree to nothing unless this is done on my terms. Give him to me”  Niki reached out to take the boy. She hesitated and he gave her a pressing look a voice behind her barked at her in Spanish. Niki engorged the man behind her, to his surprise the baby boy leaned foreword to go with him. He caught the tiny form under the arms and lifted him to his chest holding him securely under his thighs the other hand under his tiny arm. As soon as Niki had him he forgot her and James and everyone else . He had eyes only for his little boy. His baby son.

 

He began to walk slowly away from her.

 

“What are you doing?! Where do you think your going with him!” she sounded panicked but not concerned Niki noted, he turned to her and shrugged.

 

“My terms. Ill bring him back don’t worry. Were going for a walk” and with that Niki turned and walked away to the back of the aircraft hanger, still within sight of everyone but far enough away to be completely out of ear shot.

 

Ronnie Peterson met James eyes and bent discreetly down to pick up his camera then walked slowly after Niki. James smiling as he went.

 

* * *

 

Tiny hands where patting curiously at niki’s face , he grinned as the baby stroked his scarred check tracing the lines up over his eyes and under his cap where tiny fingers curled wispy hair round there soft tips. Soft brown orbs gazed up into his icy blue eyes. Niki held him tightly and climbed into the cockpit of ones of his planes. The baby on his knee, both little hands holding excitedly onto the joy stick and pressing buttons, a hearty laugh escaping the small form.

 

Niki was unaware of a sneaky swede who was snapping photos from a distance. James had told Ronnie that Niki would appreciate the gesture later and not to get caught.

 

Niki could make out random sounds escaping the child all of which sounded like babbled Spanish. He suddenly felt his heart sink , knowing that nothing he would say would register with his son, as the child could comprehend neither German nor English. Niki decided English was a softer language to address the boy in.

 

“hallo little one,” the boy spun round and looked up at him . His little face contorting in confusion.

 

“it’s alright , I know you don’t understand” Niki caresses his soft cheek it felt like clouds , so soft and gentle.

 

The boy’s eyes began water and his lip trembled. Niki panicked, _ow no hes going to cry_ , Niki thought. _what do I do?_

 

The baby brought a tiny hand to his eyes , rubbing them and sobbed a little. Niki stroked his back and made soft cooing noises.

 

“its alright little one, don’t cry. Im here. Your ok, I wish you could understand”

 

The tiny body curled against his chest as the quite sobs subsided, there was a soft sigh and a yawn. Niki looked down and watched as the boys eye lids grew heavy.

 

“ah, of course. You’re tired. I understand now. Marlene always says im bad at reading people. Shes right isn’t she little one?” Niki stroked his soft hair as he fell asleep in his arms. They sat there for what seemed like hours in the cockpit of nikis plane. At one point Niki even entertained the thought of starting it and flying them both away. But then he looked down at the bundle in his arms and saw his other two beautiful sons.

 

there soft blonde locks there big blue eyes and how they stared at him in wonder. Niki’s heart was breaking. He had no choice but to give this boy away. He was going to sign papers eliminating all parental responsibility, and all he would be was a name on a birth certificate. She could leave Austria with the child without his consent, and he agreed as long as he could see his son , one last time.

 

Marlene , and his young family where the price he’d pay for not signing the papers. He was sacrificing one son for two and a wife. It all felt so wrong but Niki was stuck. There was nothing he could do, Jackie and john encouraged him to sign. Stating that Marlene mathias and lukas where his family and this child was a mistake , and could end up a costly one.

 

Looking down and his baby son, niki could never class him as a mistake. Maybe it was that he was about to loose this child that made niki’s heart swell in a way it never did for his other sons. When he held them it just felt like a duty something he was meant to do. When he held this boy he felt like his heart might burst like this was all his life was meant for. Like he was put on earth to hold this child, to protect him. Because his other sons where strong and this boy seemed so fragile. Niki’s thoughts where interrupted as he heard footsteps on the metal stairs to the cockpit

 

_Please no,_ he thought to himself, _its to soon I need more time with him_.

As he turned a familiar head of blonde hair crossed his vision.

 

“James?”

 

“hey niki. I was just checking you hadn’t kidnapped him. God look, he’s clinging to you!. He looks so peaceful. Hes beautiful Niki” James reached over and swept a few sweaty strands of hair out of the babies face to get a better look. As he did Niki kissed him gently on the cheek. James grinned.

 

“Steady their champ. There is a baby here, cant scar him for life now can we?” Niki laughed lightly. James always had a way of lightening the mood.

 

“What’s his name? Do you know how old he is?”

 

Niki looked at him sadly. He didn’t know the boys ‘given’ name and she vowed she wouldn’t tell him.

 

“She wont give me his name, on the birth cert there were several names she never said which was the one he answers to. And I think hes two like mathias”

 

James looked back him perplexed “several names?”

 

“It’s a Spanish thing…it said Daniel César Martín Brühl González Domingo Lauda”

 

James eyes widened “that’s…a mouth full, so he could be….Daniel , César or martin? Those seem like the most obvious choices…”

 

Niki nodded. The little body began to stir.

 

“oops looks like someone’s waking up. Ill be back at the entrance, don’t want to over whelm him with to many new faces, ow and Niki ask him his name . He may speak Spanish but I’m sure you can tell by his reaction which one he responds to”

 

 With that James hoped off the ladders back onto the tarmac bellow and trotted off back into the distance. Niki now had a slightly sweaty very dazed looking baby in his arms.

 

“someone’s sleepy. Did you have a good nap?” he was met with glazed over tired looking eyes and a big yawn, Niki smiled. Then through the cockpit window he caught sight of Ronnie and his brow furrowed in anger. He lifted the little one out and carried him carefully down the steps.

 

“What are you up to Peterson?” Ronnie looked at him sheepishly.

 

“Just thought maybe you might ….its all James idea! He wanted you to remember today” Ronnie held up the camera and Niki shook his head smiling.

 

“Hardly likely id forget, but thank you both. It’s a nice thought”

 

Ronnie nodded sadly then perked up as an idea suddenly hit him.

 

“hey! I also have the video camera, its pretty rough quality but…. why don’t you record a message for him?” Niki looked at Ronnie like he was a saint sent from heaven above.

 

“Peterson if I didn’t love James I might fall for you” Ronnie blushed profusely and shuffled from foot to foot.

 

“Why don’t you go to the car ? We can shoot something there? That way even if she never tells him your name he will see the car and the trophies?”

Niki nodded and they disappeared to the garage next to the aircraft hanger where nikis car was being kept ready to fly it to the next race.

 

He held the baby tightly and Ronnie removed the sheets from the car revealing it in all its splendour Niki watched as his sons face lit up with wonder and fascination.

 

“haha I think he approves Niki” Ronnie said as they both watched the baby clap in delight and point at the car. Niki sat him in the cockpit and handed him his helmet. His short arms hardly made their way round its circumference and the boy looked through the visor then clicked it up and down. Niki looked so proud that he almost had Ronnie in tears.

 

Without Niki noticing he broke out the video recorder and hit record. It was the right moment and it wasn’t staged as Niki began to speak.

 

“Daniel?” Niki started and the baby looked up at him and smiled. _Daniel? Niki_ thought, _not what I would have chosen but I like it, my little Daniel_.

 

“Son, you wont understand this right now. I’m Niki, Niki Lauda. Your father. And I love you very much. Some day I hope you’ll forgive me” Daniel continued playing with nikis visor on his helmet occasionally looking up at him for a smile.

 

“Your going to be ok. I know you will, you’ll have a wonderful life. And ill miss you so very much” nikis voice began to break tears fell from Ronnie’s eyes as he watched his best friend say goodbye.

 

“Ill always be here for you Daniel. Some day I hope you find me. I want you to know that I’m letting you leave with your mum so you can have a good life and because I don’t have a choice right now. Life will be hard Daniel you’ll face some tough decisions. I hope you have strength enough to follow your heart, use your head and always believe in yourself. Be strong and you’ll always be my son. Always. I love you little one”

 

Tiny hands reached out to wipe a stray tear from nikis damaged eyes. Then small arms wrapped round his neck and he could smell the sweet scent of shampoo in his son’s hair. Ronnie held the camera steady then shut it off .

 

“Niki?” Niki looked up at him and his gaze nearly broke Ronnie.

 

“Niki its time to say goodbye” Niki nodded and lifted the small bundle out of the car. he walked as slowly as he could back towards the group waiting at the entrance.

 

James approached and walked Niki over to Daniels waiting mother. Niki met Jackie and johns eyes and they both nodded at him confirming he was about to do the right thing. James took him aside sensing that Niki may have changed his mind.

 

“Niki, think about this. This is your son! He needs you. Don’t do this, baby please. Don’t do something I know you’ll regret”

 

Niki looked at his son as more tears filled his eyes.

 

“I don’t know what else to do James. Ill loose Marlene and if I loose her ill loose my boys….i need them”

 

“He needs you! And Marlene…what if she found out about me? It will happen Niki you know it will”

 

“She knows James. His existence hurts her more than the knowledge that her husband is unfaithful with a man”

 

James swallowed hard. He wasn’t expecting that.

 

“Niki ill support you no matter what, just ..Do the right thing”

 

“I am. For him. Its not my life that matters” James nodded in defeat as Niki walked past him. Suddenly Daniel screeched and cried so loud Niki feared something had happened. The women snatched him from niki’s arms and he cried out his hands grappling at the air for Niki, tiny fingers clenching and un clenching Niki reached out to him.

 

“I’m sorry.” He repeated over and over “I’m so sorry” . She handed the distraught child to her male companion who whisked him off to the waiting car. Blinded by tears Niki signed the papers presented to him one after the other.

 

Then she was gone, taking his child with her. Niki fell to his knees as the car sped away his cries lived with each man present haunting their dreams. John and Jackie would regret their part in it for the rest of their lives. James spent the rest of his with a broken hearted Niki. And Ronnie died in the knowledge that he had given Niki and his son a precious gift, having slipped a tape into the baby’s pocket. He hoped he’d left Daniel with lasting memory.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
